Why I'm Rooting for the Greenhouse Gases

Mother Earth had a special surprise for me today. But before that, let's start at the beginning.

This morning, we picked up Melvin and Leslie for a day of gardening at my in-laws' place. The idea was to give them an opportunity to help out and learn a little about plants and soil.

Eric and I immediately set about showing Melvin the right posture and technique for sifting mulch to be used for potting soil. Unfortunately, Melvin was far more interested in the fish pond, so Eric and I labored alone.

When the mulch was sifted and lunch was eaten, we decided to do one more job before we left. which was the unloading of a truck full of debris from a landscaping job.

So as we went about doing this final service to our planet, dear old Mother Earth sent two yellow jackets to sink their pointy behinds into me. I took it in stride, of course, knowing that part of living in harmony with nature is knowing that nature is not always kind.

By the time we got home, my body was covered in Mother Earth's second gift to me, a torso full of wierd, itchy bites.

So, dear readers, take a can of spray paint and a styrofoam cup. Break the cup in pieces and litter it upon mother earth's surface. Spray the aerosol can until it's empty, then toss it in a river with a delicate ecosystem.

Mother Earth is out to get us, so we'd better get her first.