A Dramatic Change

It's amazing what happens when the doors open and the kids return.

Over the Christmas break, during our two week hiatus, I found my thoughts and emotions turning dark, imploding. Old doubts about God and his love revisited me. I worried about money. I faced a mixup with my writing getting published, and I felt like the whole venture of writing and publishing short stories might be doomed.

Ruthie and I both felt sick and stressed out when the kids came back. But during that first week, as we interacted, encouraged, listened, and disciplined, I felt my heart softening. I was reminded (again- how many times must I forget?) that my concerns are minor, and that we are here to serve these kids.

On Saturday, we took Jennifer, Leslie, and Melvin out to McDonald's, then to a play at a church in Suwanee. Melvin called me a biscuit head. Leslie got a talking chipmunk toy. Jennifer rolled her eyes at her two younger siblings. We couldn't stop cracking jokes and laughing.

This Sunday, I was asked to say a few things about generosity in a local church. The questions were oriented toward sacrificial giving, which isn't really something I feel that I do. Sacrificial sounds so self-pitying. I'd say that the work here is often painful, but when I think about any other lifestyle we could have chosen, I'm so thankful.

Our sacrifices are pretty small compared to the blessing of working with these kids. And when it gets rough, we learn about Love as it works through us. I don't see how anyone would call what we do sacrificial- we feel richer here than we have at any other time in our lives.