It Ain't Over Till the Fat Lady Outruns You

I've been mildly sick for about two weeks now. I just feel tired and stuffed up most of the time. It's probably because I haven't gotten used to all the germs that the kids bring in with them.

As a result, running has been a pretty ugly thing lately. When I think I'm getting better, and I hit the trails again, I feel exhausted at the point where I normally feel warmed up and ready to roll.

Yesterday, I was climbing this hill ever so slowly, hoping I would die so I wouldn't have to finish the run, when I heard footsteps pounding beside me. I saw this runner go sailing by, and he looked back over his shoulder at me.

My first thought was, is this guy really looking over his shoulder at me as he passes me? Is he gloating? What a jerk.

It turned out it was an old friend of Ruthie's and mine from back in our pre-moody days. We started chatting about recent developments in our lives, and I realized that he was slowing down for me. Feeling embarrassed at my snail-like pace, I sped up a little.

The route I run is pretty hilly, but there are two long climbs right at the end that are difficult even on my good days. We chatted most of the way up the first climb, but I had to spit out one or two words at a time, catch my breath, then try to finish the rest of the sentence.

By the time we were two-thirds of the way to the top, I knew that I was out of my league.

"I'm probably going to walk at the top of this hill," I told him, "so don't feel like you need to wait for me."

At the next cross street, I bid him farewell, strolled into the grass, and heaved. It was pretty gross. After catching my breath and walking back onto the trail, I watched this heavyset woman chug up the hill past me.

I thought this was a pretty interesting story, but now that I'm at the end of it, I think some of my readers will be searching for some kind of a moral, so here's one that works, if you need that kind of thing: trying to keep up with others can cost you the run. Don't compare.

And actually that lesson has all sorts of obvious implications for ministry and social work which I won't even get into. The main thing is that I tried to fake like I could run fast, but I ended up throwing up and watching a fat lady outrun me.

Also, this might mess up the moral, but I'd like to say that it was worth the talk I had with this guy.